


Hide Your Face/Innocence Lost

by orphan_account



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-04-25
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goku never understood why Sanzo masked himself from the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide Your Face/Innocence Lost

The first time he’d seen Sanzo, he’d finally released Goku from his centuries-long imprisonment, given him shelter and food. Perhaps not much to those who’d always had them, but it was more than Goku’d had.

Before, he’d only had the grass and trees and vines for company. Sometimes the rabbits or deer came and played with him a while, but they never stayed. They had their own lives with their own kind, and he wasn’t part of it. He understood that, but it didn’t change the fact that his was a lonely existence, all alone but for his infrequent visitors.

But then Sanzo came along. And for all that he wasn’t perfect, he gave Goku something that he’d never once had in his 500-odd years of existence. Someone to love.

Sanzo was funny, he decided. He hated everyone, or at least that was what he tried to project. To everyone else, except perhaps Hakkai and Gojyo, he succeeded in that. He was mean, grumpy, stingy, and his attitude promised an early death to anyone who dared exist near him.

But it wasn’t true. He’d asked Hakkai once why Sanzo pretended to hate everyone when he didn’t _really_. Hakkai had just smiled in that odd, sad way of his, and told him that it was just Sanzo’s way. “Everyone has a mask,” he said, “their way of hiding what they don’t want the world to see.”

“Do I have one?”

Hakkai smiled again, this time with genuine warmth, even if there was still that ever-present hint of sadness in it. “No, Goku. You don’t.”

And that was true, once Goku thought about it. He didn’t really have anything to hide. What was there to hide, anyway? And even if there was, it was stupid, a kid’s game. Only children really believed that no one would find them and adults were only deluding themselves. And despite what everyone seemed to think, Goku wasn’t a child.

Hakkai’s mask, he supposed, was that polite smile he always wore. Even Goku could tell it was fake, faker than the tits of that chick Gojyo banged last week.

Gojyo hid his scars from the past, the ones from his childhood, by screwing every pretty girl they came across on their journey.

And Sanzo? He just didn’t want the world to see that he cared. Which was stupid, really, since everyone mattered already knew that he did care, and no one who didn’t matter needed to know. He’d cared enough to feed Goku and give him a home (though that may have been because of his persistent whining), he’d cared enough to still keep Goku even despite those times he went Seiten Taisei on him and tried to kill him. He’d cared enough to fight for him (and Gojyo and Hakkai, even if he wouldn’t admit it). And he cared enough to run around like a headless chicken on steroids for the Merciful Goddess’s wild goose chase West to save the world.

So why did he wear a mask? Why did he have to hide all his good from everyone else? Goku never understood.

And then he met a youkai girl in one of the many villages they passed through, and he thought that maybe he was beginning to see why.

They stayed in the village, in the inn owned by her parents, for two weeks. Sanzo wasn’t at all happy that they had to stay that long, but they had no choice. Hakkai was still broken from almost watching Gojyo die in front of his eyes, and Gojyo couldn’t fight again yet. They needed to rest.

Goku loved it, though Sanzo’s mood, grumpier than he’d seen it when it wasn’t raining, put a damper on his joy.

All the sights and smells, and then there was the girl, who showed him all the best spots. They became fast friends, and Goku loved that too. Having a friend was _awesome_. He’d never really had a friend before, apart from his travelling companions, he supposed.

For some reason, in that village, the youkai had been unaffected by the Minus Wave. Sure, they knew about it—who hadn’t?—but they were unaffected by the youkai rampages outside the village walls. Hakkai, once he had healed, attributed it to a natural stream running through and underneath the village. The water was an odd yellow-brown colour, and not one of the villagers would drink from it, but it appeared to act as a limiter on the youkai living there.

Hakkai tried it out himself. Once he was healed, he went a whole day without his ear cuffs before Gojyo convinced him that it was probably safer to keep them on, even if the stream ensured that he wouldn’t go mad.

When they were there, time seemed to stand still, their journey West temporarily forgotten in Goku’s mind. And then they came.

Half-crazed youkai, possessing only enough sanity to block the source of the stream before turning on the village.

Suddenly, the peace that this village had had before the Sanzo-ikkou’s arrival was shattered. The madness infected those peaceful youkai and made them, too, turn on the people they’d loved.

Goku’s friend killed two humans before she turned on him, fiercer than he had ever thought possible from her. He’d had to kill her.

Eventually they managed to unblock the stream, but things wouldn’t go back to normal just like that. There were the dead humans, and the glimpse that the living humans had seen of the youkai’s madness. That trust, that balance they had once had between humans and youkai was gone. They needed someone to blame, and the Sanzo-ikkou were a prime choice. Did the youkai not burst into the village screaming bloody murder about them?

And thus they resumed their journey West, leaving the wake of blood and gore behind them to try and fix the source.

Hakkai smiled, Sanzo whacked anyone who dared make a noise with his fan, Gojyo was a pervert, and Goku was still the innocent kid.

Yes, he had a mask, after all. To hide his shame and sorrow of having her killed, to avoid Hakkai’s concerned glances, Sanzo yelling at him to snap out of it, Gojyo’s perverted remarks. His mask was his innocence. Innocence lost.


End file.
